This past year...closing the store

I have hardly written in this past crazy year, it was a year ago now that I bought the store.  A year ago that we started an adventure and a very tough year of loss.

When both of my kids were about a year old I would start looking for a job, something about that year mark was when I would start to get stir crazy and want out of the house.  But I felt torn and mommy guilt over leaving my children, I couldn't imagine spending an entire day away from them! So when the store came up for sale I thought it was perfect.  I could work, selling maternity clothes and spending my day talking to pregnant women about babies (my favorite!) while still having my kids with me.  I was the boss, I could do what I wanted!

Customer after customer would comment on "how great it is you can bring your kids to work with you!"  And while I could feel good about having my kids with me, I also felt guilty about keeping them from their home, keeping them from playdates, and afternoons at the park.  They had to come to work with me and I had to learn how to always parent in public.  When you own a store you want your customers to feel comfortable and have a nice time shopping, when your kids are hitting each other and screaming and you are trying to calmly tell them to stop, it's not quite the experience you are hoping for them to have.  Having the kids with me was so much harder than I thought it would be, it wasn't the fun and enjoyable thing I imagined, for me or for them.

I quickly learned that the previous owner may not have been entirely forthcoming with how the business was doing.  While it continued to support itself the entire time I owned it, we were never able to bring home a paycheck.  And while it was fun, at some point we all want our work to be rewarded.  With how we thought the business was doing I would be able to pay others to work a day or two, I only ever did that when I had to be somewhere else.  But I made two really amazing friends while finding people to help with the store.  Two people who made the store their own and supported me and did EVERYTHING they could to help.  They were always finding me baby items for great deals and telling people about the store wherever they went.  Without them I would have never made it as far as I did.

Right after we bought the store Bryce's Grandpa died and then soon after the pastor that performed our wedding ceremony died, he was a close family friend.  After Christmas a close family member had a miscarriage and then a cousin had a still-born baby.  In May we experienced our own miscarriage, it became too much to deal with, spending my entire day with pregnant women.

In June I made the decision that the store maybe wasn't the right fit for me.  It was not what I had imagined it would be and the store had been open for three years, yet we still were not making money.  I tried passing out coupons, advertising at events, and bringing in items people were looking for.  But it would take much much more than that to get the store to reach the level of success I thought it should be at.  And I didn't have it in me, managing the store, my family, my house, the losses in our family and the constant things that each of them needed was more than I wanted to deal with.  We put the store up for sale in June.

Several people looked at buying it, all of them came back and said that it didn't make enough money.  One woman's financial guy even figured out that I was making about $2 an hour.  It didn't feel like I even made that much!

At the end of September we contacted the owner of the building to let us out of the lease a year early. He very kindly agreed.  So we spent October selling as much as we could out of the store.  The last week was spent packing up what was left and then painting (part of the agreement to get out of the lease early).  It was an especially hard week.

I cannot tell you how many tears were shed over wanting to buy this store, and then again over making the decision to close.  It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but just because you want something doesn't mean it always works out that way.  It was an adventure I had, where I made a bunch of new and great friends.  I learned so much about running a business, I bonded with other business owners.  One of the greatest lessons I learned was to be happy with what you have, and to do things to take care of yourself.  It's hard being a mom 24-7, sometimes we need a day off and we need to not feel guilty about taking one (thanks to all you Grandma's out there).  I do not regret my year of being a business owner, it may have been a bit impulsive, but it was still a pretty great adventure.  So many of you supported me in so many ways, by listening to me talk about the store for hours, by listening to me cry about it when it wasn't what I wanted anymore, by sending me cards and flowers of encouragement, by shopping there, by spending your Saturday's helping me out and working or volunteering to work, helping me pack it all up and then spending days with me painting.

Many friends have kindly asked if this has hurt us financially.  Thankfully, we were able to make back a large portion of what we bought the store for in our sales and we still have fixtures and inventory that we will try to sell in the coming months.  Since it was able to always support itself (kind of an amazing feat for small businesses I now know) we never had to spend any money there.  But most importantly our "loan" came from a family member who will thankfully let us spend the rest of our lives paying them back if that's what it takes (we also don't owe very much).

It can be so sad when something ends, but there is always something new that begins.  So here is to what comes next...hopefully that includes some more frequent blog posts so stay tuned :)

Kitchen Reveal

Remember how we started a major remodel on the kitchen way back in January?  And then we were all totally done by the kids' birthdays in April but I wanted to wait to blog about it until I had new rugs and a new garbage can and had all the new knobs on the cabinet doors, but it's August now and I have new rugs but none of those other things and I decided forget it lets just see some pictures!

You may remember the "original" BEFORE picture:

And then in January of 2010 we stripped the black away and had this:

And here is the newly remodeled 2014 version of our kitchen!!

In January I came home from work to find Bryce and my borther-in-law Mark ripping out the linoleum, YAY!!!

Then we tore out the grey back splash and the awful tiles that were glued down to the counter.  I was very disappointed to learn that they were easily removed, and I had lived with them all these years...

 Hey, lets tear down a wall!!

 Bunk beds!

 Then we started painting cabinets.  This was kind of miserable because it took about 4 coats.  We used a special filler paint first, to fill in the grain of the wood, between each coat we had to sand and wipe down and paint again.  We had cupboard doors all over the kitchen.  We had to live with this mess for about two weeks while we painted, sanded, and let the cupboards and doors dry.

 Then we removed the blue counter tops, and learned there had been pink ones underneath!  Man I'm sad we missed out on the pink ones...and as long as we are redoing counter tops we did the bathroom and our bedroom too...

 We got SO lucky with the flooring!  I wanted to match what we had put in the hallway but when we got to the store it was no longer being manufactured.  We looked all over trying to find something else that would work when we found a very dusty sample of our flooring.  The salesperson looked it up and there was enough left that we could do our kitchen, the stairs, and the downstairs hallway.  At a great discount!

 Look at those gorgeous floors!

 Here comes the counter top!

 Good bye BLUE!

 Bryce put this custom wood edge around the counter, you will see later it is stained to match.

 While I was at work Bryce did the back splash with this great glass accent.  

 Then, you know, no big deal, he just whipped out a custom made bar from scratch.  I was so impressed, the next house will have ALL custom Bryce cabinets!

 These drawers are so great for holding all our little appliances, and they pull all the way out for easy access to everything.

 We put in a new faucet, so fun!  New to us sink coming soon...

 And another close up of the tile.

And look at this gorgeous half wall!  We took out the top of the old wall and then Bryce added a top to it and then decorated the existing post (on the right) and made a faux matching post (on the left).  It looks like it has always been this way.  And the kitchen now feels so open and bright and I can see the kids playing in the living room.  We should have done it as soon as we moved in! 

We have really been enjoying out updated kitchen, such a huge improvement from the original black cabinets and blue counter tops.  The bar is so much bigger than our old one we can easily fit five people around it and I can cook and bake at one end while the kids play at the other, or I can just have lots of stuff piled on it. Oh and we found our new bar stools at a neighbor's yard sale for $30, whoo-hoo!  

A loss in our family

As has been my way lately, I haven't blogged in ages.  But today I feel like writing.

On April 1st I took a pregnancy test (or maybe 4) and discovered that we were expecting baby number three!  And since I am obviously terrible at keeping a secret we waited a whole two days before everyone found out because it's oh so exciting and also my aunt guessed it.  I wrapped up Christmas presents for my mom and Bryce's parents to tell them the news because by my estimation we were due December 13th, just before Christmas!  A sweet new baby at Christmas!  I finally made an appointment with my Dr. at about 8 weeks, he said I was measuring right on schedule but wanted to do an ultrasound to double check dates.

 So on Tuesday of this week we went in for an ultrasound, Bryce and the kids' came and we were going to use this opportunity to see the new baby and tell the kids the news!  But the ultrasound tech looked and looked and didn't show me a heartbeat, she looked and looked some more.  I started to wonder...finally after she looked and looked again she said "I'm sorry but there is no heartbeat" I burst in to tears.  Weirdly the night before I had started preparing myself for this possibility which I had never done before when pregnant with the other two.  Of course my Dr. was at the hospital and so I had to see the on-call Dr, who was wonderful.  He of course knew just what to say and wasn't phased at all by the tears we cried in the little examining room.  As I waited for blood work my mom called and I told her what had happened, I should have been 9 weeks but baby measured 8 weeks.  We went home, and my mom met us there shortly after.  I called my friend, the one who had also had a miscarriage and was waiting to hear from me.  She cried with me on the phone.  My mom arrived and it was a beautiful day.  We sat in the sun ALL afternoon.  We talked about how lucky we are to have two children, and that we get pregnant easily.  We are sad, but we are not devastated.  This baby wasn't meant to come home with us but we will have one soon that is.  We sat in the sun and I sunburned my shoulders and ate delicious pizza with my family.  I called a few close friends and family who knew and told them the news. We scheduled an appointment for a D&C, I was fearful of waiting for things to happen on their own, and sometimes even when they do a D&C is still necessary.  I folded clothes.

At my store this week I met more mom's due in December, mom's talking about their ultrasounds and their babies and their due dates.  I smiled and was excited for them, all of them.  I told them we have two children and hope to have a third one day.

This morning, Friday, I met my Dr at the hospital at 6 a.m. He was sad for me and so kind.  Every nurse and Dr. was so nice and understanding and just really lovely. The procedure went smoothly, I woke up feeling totally fine.  I came home and ate a horribly delicious lunch and a milk shake and laid on the couch watching Harry Potter until the pain pill made me fall asleep. Our friends and family have been amazing, helping, jumping in and taking over, watching the store for me, taking our kids, checking on me.  It is sad situation, but it is amazing and wonderful to feel how much people love you.  We will miss holding our new baby at Christmas, but we are ok.  We can handle this and get through it, and bring home a third baby when the time is right.  We understand this is how things work out sometimes, and while we would love to wish it all away, we will deal with it and get through it, and continue to be grateful for the children we do have and all the family and friends and of course each other which will help us all through this.

Play room organizing

The kitchen is still going great, I know I haven't written about it in a while and I'm sure you are all waiting with bated breath.  The cupboards, floors and countertops are down.  Now we are waiting on the grand finale, a new bar.  It's almost done, I can't wait to share with you!  In the mean time I've been organizing.  And last night I tackled the play room.  Which nobody has played in for a while because I had it full of clothes getting ready for baby fair and then it became a catch all for junk and then it was a crazy huge mess.  And with birthday season rapidly approaching it was time to get it in order.  So here is the before... look there's a dog in there!

 I took EVERYTHING out and put it on the back porch.

 And ta-da, the after pictures:

 And the table on the weird tile in the room is a great place to have snacks and do art projects without sacrificing that incredible blue carpet.

 Closet with ONLY toys in it, and not all our stuff too...

I went crazy making labels with pictures so the kids would know where everything goes.  I'm hoping this also helps when we have friends over, the kids can do all the cleaning!

 My pinterest inspired jars with craft stuff.

This room is the only room in the house that we have done NOTHING to.  It needs a total sheet rock job done because the texture doesn't match up and a leak in the kitchen before us made a mess of the ceiling.  So someday I will get to paint this room a fun color and maybe do some other fun stuff, but for now this should work, for a while anyway....also, I used everything I already had.  I am hoping to convince Bryce to build me some cool cubes for the closet and/or make a storage bench in here too.  But that will come after this room gets a remodel I'm sure.
This morning the kids went down there and were so excited to find a bin with "logs" in it!  They have never even played with the Lincoln Logs before, now they know where they are and where to put them away at. Yay!

Prepping

 Normally I would not be sharing my mess with you on here, normally I would check the picture to make sure it makes the house look better than it might actually look most of the time, but today I'm going to show you the mess.  Because that is the part of the project we are into, the really messy part.  We are going to paint the cabinets, (BLACK!!!  HAHA, just kidding!) white.  This might have made Bryce sigh a little if you remember this happening exactly 4 years ago.  And since those pictures look almost exactly like this I guess it's a little redundant.  But here we are again, changing the cabinets...again.  So far they have all been taken down, filled the holes and sanded them.  Next up is priming with a filler/primer, then sanding again, then painting.  In the meantime I have to figure out how to cook dinner with my kitchen spread out across the house like this...